I had quite a few different titles in my head for this post. Things like…. Have I failed? Two steps backwards to move forwards. Adulting is hard. Nearly 30 and starting again…things like that.
All the options were things that have gone through my head and in some ways make sense to the action I’m going to take. There are big changes ahead for me indeed. So the Cliff Notes version is: I’m moving back home with my parents. Yep.
I’ll start from the beginning. Towards the end of last year I was feeling really fed up, mainly with my job. As I’ve said before, I just wasn’t feeling that it was something I wanted to do for the foreseeable future. I was coasting along, getting my job done but getting more and more down. I was spending a good portion of my life at work but living for the weekends when I could do what I actually wanted to do. Not to mention the draining, long commute there and back every day.
I had no desire or ambition. Gone was the girl who left university ready to take on the world. Instead I was dreaming of the holidays and marathons I could run and justifying the rest of my time, where I was sad and bored, as a way to fund the more fun times in my life. So what my job wasn’t my passion? I could afford to go on cool holidays, go out for dinner all the time and buy unlimited pairs of leggings. I was living the dream.
But no I wasn’t. And it soon became very clear that the benefit of the solid paycheck wasn’t enough to keep me from sinking into a despondent, unmotivated and sad person. A few holidays a year doesn’t make up for the fact that the majority of my week I was spent unhappy.
So earlier this year I decided to look for another job that would be more in line with what I wanted to do. Something I had a genuine interest in. Having spent a good portion of my career in a quite different field, however, I quickly realised I had very limited experience. Searching for a job with a similar salary was laughable. I hadn’t a chance in hell. So I started looking for jobs from the bottom up. Grass roots’ positions where I could learn and hopefully work my way up. And this was obviously going to be reflected in the pay.
And so I took that pay cut. I could carry on living in my flat with my new job but I would be living hand to mouth every month, and that makes me very nervous. Yes I have savings behind me but I want them to remain there and not be eaten into if I fancy going on holiday or splurging on a trip.
Instead, after long chats with my parents and careful consideration, I decided the best decision would be to rent out my flat and move back home. Long story short, I’ll be moving in September (hopefully) and the money I’ll save will basically bump up my earnings back to a happy place.
I’m obviously extremely grateful to have parents that are so supportive and willing to have me come back home (*cough* my mum is ecstatic). As you’re probably aware, I have a very good relationship with both my parents so hopefully it won’t be a painful experience for anyone. I’ll have my space, they’ll have theirs.
Alfie will obviously be joining me (again, my mum is ecstatic). My parents already have three dogs and he gets on fine with them (though he’ll still sleep with me as he always does when I stay over). It also gives me a bit of freedom (ironically) because I don’t have to rush home all the time to make sure Alfie isn’t alone for too long. My parents have a lovely garden and he’ll be well looked after if I decide to go on a date, a spontaneous work thing or stay out late with friends.
So, a big change for me. For how long, I don’t know…
Have you ever moved back home with your parents?
Would you ever consider something like this?
Do you get on with your parents?
What a good decision – it sounds like you’ve really thought it through. Good idea to rent your flat out too.
I lived on my own for a year after uni while I waited for Dan to find a job over in Northants and move in with me. It was expensive and incredibly lonely throughout the week. Most weekends I then drove over to Staffordshire to see Dan or to see my parents in Norfolk. Basically anything to get out of being in the house on my own. As much as it’s independent having your own place, it’s nice having company around and somebody to just have a chat to. Plus, there’s always the chance your Mum will still do your washing(!)
I hope the move back goes well. x
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Hi Anna, so much kudos to you for being prepared to make and share a decision like this. It definitely sounds like the best thing for you. Just wanted to share that I went through something similar this year – a bit earlier in my career perhaps, but I gave up a pretty well-paid teaching position to go into something completely different in an entry-level job. The hardest part was definitely accepting less financial freedom/independence but it’s been completely worth it in every other way. Thought it might be nice to hear from someone with 0 regrets about this kind of decision!! I don’t usually comment on things so will also take the opportunity to say thanks for blogging in general – always a highlight on my subscriptions feed and looking forward to future posts. 🙂 Chloe
I think you’ve made a great decision. I was feeling pretty much the same as you in my old job, and as with you, my new job is entry level (partly so I can do a part-time uni course at the same time – if that makes it sound like I have a plan/have it all figured out, I don’t. I’m doing the uni course to ‘see how it goes’.) and it covers my actual expenses but nothing more. Moving in with the parents isn’t an option as they live three hours away, but I definitely would have considered it. In the meantime, holidays are coming out of savings, but I’m trying super hard to budget and save money as much as possible so I can still go away!
It sounds like you have really thought this decision through and I admire you for being fiscally responsible and not living way beyond your means. I see so many people who are not careful/responsible and they end up in a bad spot. I’m really excited that you found a job that is more suited to your interests and you will save a lot of money this way. The fact that you get along with your parents is really awesome. Best of luck with this big change.
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Sounds like the right decision for you.
When I split up from my ex we had to sell our flat and there was so much adulting happening that it was easiest for me (and my two cats!) to move back in with my parents for a while. It worked out fine and the cats were spoiled rotten!
I still have a good relationship with my parents and my husband and I stay with them at their holiday home for a couple of weeks every summer. Always great fun and makes what could be an expensive trip very affordable.
Hope your move goes well.
Anna this is great news, especially after our email chat a few months ago. Glad you’ve taken the leap for change, well done! Good luck and enjoy your new adventure! x
That sounds like the best decision in the circumstances! I admire your bravery. I am in a soul suck of a job and feel a bit paralysed by the thought of moving. I moved back in with my parents when my first job from uni went bust for about 18 months but left when Matt and I were ready to move in together.
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You’ve definitely made the right decision, I need to channel some of your bravery.
My parents divorced when I was very young so if I fell out with one, I had the option of moving in with the other. I wish I could move back in with one of my parents now but I can’t. I’ve been living hand to mouth for over 12 months and it’s so difficult. I got myself into this mess so I’ll have to get myself out of it.
Do I get on with my parents? Not really. I wish I did and I wish they were slightly more supportive. I don’t think my mother will ever forgive me for resigning from a job that was making me so unhappy that I ended up dreading going into work. I threw away a stable job that was pretty much guaranteed for life. Unfortunately, I don’t really know my father at all.
Apologies, this is getting slightly morbid. Good luck with the big change and with your new career x
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Such a brave decision however a good one. My feelings are taking away the time you sleep, for most, we spend more time in work than out of it. You can only ever succeed in something fully if you enjoy it. It’s definitely about getting the balance right and being happy.
I moved back in with my parents for a few months after I sold my first house and had no where to move to due to something falling through. I enjoyed it, life felt less stressful and it was good spending time with them. I really get on with my parents and go to them with issues still as a 33 year old!!!
No brainer you did the right thing
It sounds like it is the right decision for you for sure. It’s great that you get on with your parents so well- they seem to feature a lot on here (in a good way)- how supportive your dad is with your racing and parkruns etc.
I didn’t move back in, but I stayed living at home through uni as moving out was so expensive and it seemed a bit silly (in my mind) to put myself into more debt just for the experience (as the uni was in the same county so I just got the bus and cycled).
We did consider moving back in when we were trying to move last year as we had sold our last place and not found anywhere to buy- in order not to lose our buyers it was a possibility but it didn’t come to that.
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I’m sure you, your parents and Alfie will love it! I can related to a lot of your feelings here and actually did consider doing the same – I think the fact that the option was even there for me and that I am close to my parents helped massively. x
Girl you have nothing to be embaraased OR ashamed of. Being brave enough to start over is something that not a lot of people can do. They would rather hold onto the money and live in misery than risk going out and finding what their heart really desires – so good for you! I probably wouldn’t be brave enough to do so. I’m excited for you girl <3
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