Snap out of it

It’s OK. You can come near again. I’m past my initial I HATE THE WORLD bad mood. Personally, it’s only for so long I can maintain that level of enthusiastic annoyance and self-loathing.

I had lot of lovely Tweets, comments and reassurances from people about my injury which I really appreciated. Thank you. This is why I love the running (and blogging) community so much. Because even when you’re down and out for a bit, they’ll always try to lift you up. This is always clear as well when Ben comes to parkrun to volunteer, despite not being able to run. You’re a runner even when injured.

I saw Kyle (my coach and sports massage therapist) and he speculated that it’s the IT band. But it’s strange that it just happened out of nowhere so maybe I twisted awkwardly without realising or something.IMG_8537Lots of massage and some tape to help blood flow and it’s improving each day…fingers crossed it’s a blip then.

I know my situation isn’t the worst in the world. I’m grateful for any run I get that goes mildly well. Since so many injuries this year (*sighs*) and Ben’s horrible injury woe I fully appreciate any running. I also know I’m healthy and fit in comparison to many ‘normal’ people. I have no illness, life-threatening disease or terminal illness. And when I say I’m injured, really I mean “I can’t run for a bit because my knee hurts”. I can walk just fine.

And speaking of Ben, I know I really shouldn’t complain, moan or whinge. In some respects it’s a good job he’s in China: he can’t hear my pathetic complaints. I haven’t actually told him about all this. Internet and all things social media are pretty closed down over there so what I tell him is what he hears from me basically. Before you think I’m a terrible wife, I haven’t lied. I just haven’t mentioned it. All sounds rather illicit doesn’t it? But in truth, I’d rather not worry him about something like this while he’s away – especially when his own injury issue is so much worse than mine.

My dad, bless him, has had to deal with a lot over the past few months. We sometimes drive together to work (yes we work at the same company, God help us both) and he’s become my psychological coach. He often remarks that he’s genuinely tense before I get in the car with him as to how my latest run went, indicating what frame of mind I’ll be in (imagine the weeks leading up to the Berlin marathon…poor man). Recently he’s been quite relaxed and happy as my running has been going well. Getting in the car on Monday morning though he had to pick up the pieces. I hadn’t had anyone really to physically talk to about my latest running injury properly and I sort of went into melt-down mode on the way to work. He did a great job in talking things through logically and rationally and helped bring me back up out of my wallowing pit of despair.

He doesn’t run. He’s not that fit but he does try to do lots of walking (another Vivofit convert). He also appreciates my love for running. And he loves football and supports Liverpool FC quite passionately. He therefore knows disappointment in sport quite strongly too.

He often tells me about different footballers and their injury woes. The latest guy he told me about was Daniel Sturridge who had been on the bench due to a calf issue, then when he was allowed to start training again strained his thigh…then recovered, then strained it again. These guys are playing football as their career. Their livelihood depends on their fitness and the state of their body. It is likely that the management will see this footballer as a risk and a weakness, and perhaps his contract won’t be signed again.

Suddenly things for me don’t look so dire. I love running with all my heart but my life isn’t over without it. And of course not for a few days or weeks! Our mortgage isn’t dependent on me running. Sure it’s depressing and sad, but it’s not the end of the world.

I’ve got to keep things in perspective. I’ve had a lot of injuries. This year for me, you must agree, has been epically pants. The only two good things (in terms of running) have been the marathons. BUT if I had to choose between a year of no issue-running but no marathons or the year I’ve had…I must admit I’d keep my marathons.

The bigger picture is that I’ve got years of running ahead of me and great friends and family around me. Time to snap out of it. Sorry for being a wet blanket and thank you for bearing with me.

16 thoughts on “Snap out of it

  1. Your dad is a good man, Anna. It’s times like these when family is needed the most. Hang in there & try to remember that God would never throw anything your way he didn’t think you could handle. xo

  2. I judge Dan’s mood entirely on the football results! On the days he goes to watch Wolves play I always check the scores before he gets back home again so I know what to expect! Your Dad will have to start checking your Twitter to get a feeling for how things are going running-wise for you!
    On a serious note, glad to hear things are improving already. Living in a constant state of nervousness when it comes to getting injured is awful and it seems like you’ve had your fair share already this year. Fingers crossed things are on the up! 🙂
    Mary recently posted…Baby, It’s Cold OutsideMy Profile

    • Ahh yes men and football. Luckily Ben isn’t a die-hard fan and won’t be brought down by Southampton losing (too much).
      It’s getting myself to realise that it can’t go on forever like this…I have a lot of work to do on improving my weaknesses but I’m motivated to persevere!
      AnnaTheApple recently posted…So much food and a re-thinkMy Profile

  3. Bless your Dad, I’m sure he doesn’t mind at all and is happy he has a daughter than can come to him for advice and comfort. I know that others might have it worse than you but it is still your life so its fine to get down a bit, glad that the perspective has helped you feel better able to deal with it though! x

  4. Although before you start feeling sorry for any footballer, just think about their crazy wages and how they get paid by their club even when they are sat on the bench- they should be able to work for a couple of years and have enough money for life. Plus they can become pundits and be paid rather nicely too.
    But yes, at least you are not having to take time off from work or anything.I
    I totally understand why you would not worry Ben with it either- Andy can be a bit of a worrier so I tend to not tell him things unless we are both home as he can’t do anything anyway.
    Chin up 🙂
    Maria @ runningcupcake recently posted…All the gingerbread! A quick visit to Vienna.My Profile

    • Very true about footballers. But only really the high end ones. Some of the ones down in the lower leagues have to have another job to cover costs. It’s only the very top ones that get the really good paychecks. But that being said, the guy I mentioned above does get paid a lot so yes you are right to limit your sympathy. And especially as they do have access to some of the best treatment teams in the country as well!
      AnnaTheApple recently posted…So much food and a re-thinkMy Profile

  5. Your love for running is obvious and being injured must feel like a kick in the teeth, but it’s’ great to hear that you are feeling more positive about things now – no one would expect you to feel happy about being injured. The fact that you and your dad go to work together is very sweet.
    Jemma @ Celery and Cupcakes recently posted…How to deal with changeMy Profile

  6. Oh, man, I feel your ITB-pain, sistah! I’m 9 weeks and counting with this crap, and last Sunday I managed to run… wait for it…. 1.3 WHOLE MILES before my knee started hurting.
    Can I ask a quick question? Can you feel, like, the start of a twinge of pain a few minutes before that ‘I need to stop now’ moment?
    Medal Slut recently posted…Swimming WoesMy Profile

    • Oh god, really? I’m sorry to hear this 🙁 That majorly sucks!
      Well, the pain just started twinging every so often randomly into my run – but was sort of bearable. But a few miles later as I was running home it got to the point that I had to alter how I was running to stop the pain. I should have stopped straight away really as the pain was too much to ignore, but I kept running just to finish the run (very stupid). I would say it definitely built up. Hope yours gets better!
      AnnaTheApple recently posted…So much food and a re-thinkMy Profile

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