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Not settling for mediocre

Another post around dating. I thought, why not as I have a few things on my mind.

I go through periods where I’m like “right, let’s do this!” and get really enthusiastic about going on dates and meeting new people. I re-install Plenty of Fish (*sighs*) on my phone and get about chatting to guys who’ve messaged me that don’t seem like a psycho/weirdo/offering a threesome.

I’ve been on some really lovely dates recently with a nice guy but sadly it just didn’t pan out. I’m not one for going into the nitty gritties as it’s hardly fair but I’ll just say he just wasn’t for me. This is much to my mother’s frustration because she couldn’t seem to understand why he wasn’t for me. Or why other dates weren’t for me. Or why men who she suggests aren’t for me.

In her eyes I’ve become too picky. I’m giving up on guys too quickly. I’m not trying hard enough. In fact this was something my friends mentioned to me the other day when I tried to explain why someone else I knew wasn’t for me despite being a) single b) around my age and c) a perfectly normal guy seemingly with his schizz together.

Before I delve too deeply into “becoming too picky” I will firstly mention that age (within reason) is actually not a barrier for me. I’m no spring chicken myself anymore and so can’t really afford to segment a good portion of the male species because they’re too old (or too young, but let’s be real here, I don’t think I’m going to attract many young’uns!).

Am I too picky though? Are my requirements for a partner too specific, too narrow and unrealistic? Maybe they are. But do you know what, why the hell shouldn’t they be? Why settle for a mediocre life? Why settle for “he’s nice” or “we seem to get on well”? Why can’t I have fireworks, explosions, rainbows and magic? Why can’t I have someone who I want to throw all my plans out the window for? Drive a million miles for? Ignore the alarm and miss the gym for?

Am I so far past it, so far gone, that I should just settle for who’s available who kind of ticks the right boxes because I won’t find better. Because I don’t deserve better.

Absolutely not. I REFUSE to settle.

Let’s be clear here. I’m not unhappy. My life is not empty. I may be alone but I am not lonely. I have a life full of excitement, full of plans, goals and ambitions. I have a fantastic network of friends and family. I actually love my life.

I am a whole person and don’t need someone else to complete me. I am not a puzzle with a missing piece. I am bloody good puzzle with all the pieces already stuck together and it looks pretty damn awesome. There may be that someone special and amazing out there for me but I’m not hunting them down and I’m not sat in a tower waiting for them to rescue me. I’m living my life exactly how I want to and if I happen to bump into “Mr Right” then fantastic. But until then, I won’t be settling.

Dating, what’s been your experience?

Am I being unrealistic?

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My marathon strategy

Ok so my 10th marathon is on Sunday. Do I feel ready? Ehhhh, sort of.

You could say that pressure is somewhat off for this marathon as I’m pacing my friend to (hopefully) sub-4 and in general I tend to finish around 3:40ish and a PB of 3:24:06.. Though let’s be honest, I never really put any pressure on myself when I get to marathon day because I almost always go into it saying “I just want to finish uninjured”. I might have some vague time goals just to keep me in check but generally speaking, as with most of my running these days, I don’t really care about finishing times.

I’ve changed a lot over the years and value healthy running and avoiding injuries, rather than smashing PB’s and constantly getting quicker (I realise one does not equal the other, but for me I’ve found the more seriously I look to get faster then the more I’m dicing with injury risks).

It became quite apparent on the Austria Run Camp that I’m probably too carefree about my training when it comes to times when I compared myself to some of the others. I mean, some could argue that I actually don’t “train”. I never do speed work and when I lead-up to a marathon as long as I hit certain long runs I generally feel like it’s job done. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting a PB but I really don’t love the effort involved in order to get there. That’s not to say I don’t have goals or dedication to my running, it’s just that my goals are less time-focused and more “bigger picture”. I want to run marathon after marathon – collecting those experiences and seeing new places. And I want to avoid injuries… I love running and I love marathons so as long as I can keep doing those things, I’m happy.

But I’ve digressed. This next marathon, the New Forest Marathon, is a bit different for me as I’m hoping to pace my good friend, Mike, to the sub four hour dream. I mean, to be fair, he really should have gotten there on his own by now as he’s a great runner and his PB’s suggest a 3:45ish should be on the cards. But his previous two marathons have missed the mark for different reasons. My plan is to slow him down at the start and then keep him going as we get closer to the end.I’ve found that my best marathon experiences have been about a slow and boring start, ignoring the panic of watching people fly past you and looking at your watch and knowing the pace you’re currently doing is slower than the average pace you’d need to hit your time goal. It’s about holding your nerve. The win here is that once you’ve run those first infuriatingly slow 10 miles, you still have a good amount of energy to begin to pick up the pace slightly as you hit into the “dark” miles. These are the miles from 10-20. You’re not far enough to be feeling confident but you’re not as fresh as you were before.

This is where I like to pick up the pace and focus on the milestones of halfway and 18 miles…probably having two gels during this time. It’s still not about getting too excited, but consistently getting the miles ticked off without making any crazy leaps in pace. When I say pick up the pace, I mean by 10-20 seconds. So often you hear people say, “I was on for a PB until I hit 13/14/15 miles and then the wheels came off”. The wheels shouldn’t even be shuddering at this point. At 15 miles you still have eleven miles to go. ELEVEN miles. It’s a long way.

At 20 miles if everything has gone well (even the best pacing strategy can fail for a number of controllable and uncontrollable ways), THIS is where the moves are made. 10k left to go, break it down to two parkruns. Focus on getting those legs into gear and turning over a bit faster. I mean, “faster” is such a relative term here. Incremental pace increases will feel a lot harder at this point, but the idea is that you make a change. I literally think to myself, “OK I’m just starting a 10k race and I feel like sh**. My legs are heavy and tired” but crucially I don’t allow myself to think about what has gone before. I pretend this is a brand new race. A horrible brand new race, but a new one nonetheless. And if all goes to plan, I’m overtaking people and focused on that finish. I’m counting down the miles. The end is in sight. At mile 24 I’ll probably stop looking at my watch for guidance on what’s left as no doubt I’ve added distance due to tangents etc. and work purely on the race markers themselves.

And that’s my strategy! I hope to finish strongly at the end basically. Nothing beats that feeling of finishing strong. I just hope this happens on Sunday for Mike!

Now onto something a bit random…

Vie Recovery Patch Review

I was recently sent this “patch” to review. I sounded very…different and I was quite intrigued. It’s a patch that contains herbs, vitamins and minerals and, using transdermal technology, it delivers these active ingredients into your bloodstream through your skin. Very weird, but also quite cool. The ingredients contain things like vitamin C, green tea extract, globe artichoke extract, thiamine, taurine and chromium picolinate. It’s apparently an ideal accompaniment to drinking because these ingredients apparently help break down alcohol. So any freshers out there…might be a wise little trick to stock up 😉 Crucially though the patches DO NOT prevent you getting drunk!You just apply the patch to a dry and hairless area of your skin (my arms are quite hairy…the gorilla that I am, so I did my tummy) and leave on for up to 24 hours. For six patches it’s £4.95.

I quite like this for when you’re feeling a bit rough and need a bit of a “pepping up”. I didn’t feel vastly different after using the patch but I haven’t tried it with drinking! I don’t do a huge amount of drinking if I’m honest but I’d be tempted to use these patches if I knew I had a big night out coming out because, yeah hangovers suck. Hangovers are one of the main reasons I don’t drink. I hate feeling like I’ve wasted the next day. But I do enjoy the cheeky G&T or beer. But definitely not this Saturday night!

Have you ever paced someone?

What’s your marathon pacing strategy?

Have you ever tried a transdermal product before?

**Disclaimer: I was sent a Recovery Patch to trial for free in exchange for a review on my blog. All opinions are my own.**

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Big changes ahead

I had quite a few different titles in my head for this post. Things like…. Have I failed? Two steps backwards to move forwards. Adulting is hard. Nearly 30 and starting again…things like that.

All the options were things that have gone through my head and in some ways make sense to the action I’m going to take. There are big changes ahead for me indeed. So the Cliff Notes version is: I’m moving back home with my parents. Yep.

I’ll start from the beginning. Towards the end of last year I was feeling really fed up, mainly with my job. As I’ve said before, I just wasn’t feeling that it was something I wanted to do for the foreseeable future. I was coasting along, getting my job done but getting more and more down. I was spending a good portion of my life at work but living for the weekends when I could do what I actually wanted to do. Not to mention the draining, long commute there and back every day.

I had no desire or ambition. Gone was the girl who left university ready to take on the world. Instead I was dreaming of the holidays and marathons I could run and justifying the rest of my time, where I was sad and bored, as a way to fund the more fun times in my life. So what my job wasn’t my passion? I could afford to go on cool holidays, go out for dinner all the time and buy unlimited pairs of leggings. I was living the dream.

But no I wasn’t. And it soon became very clear that the benefit of the solid paycheck wasn’t enough to keep me from sinking into a despondent, unmotivated and sad person. A few holidays a year doesn’t make up for the fact that the majority of my week I was spent unhappy.

So earlier this year I decided to look for another job that would be more in line with what I wanted to do. Something I had a genuine interest in. Having spent a good portion of my career in a quite different field, however, I quickly realised I had very limited experience. Searching for a job with a similar salary was laughable. I hadn’t a chance in hell. So I started looking for jobs from the bottom up. Grass roots’ positions where I could learn and hopefully work my way up. And this was obviously going to be reflected in the pay.

And so I took that pay cut. I could carry on living in my flat with my new job but I would be living hand to mouth every month, and that makes me very nervous. Yes I have savings behind me but I want them to remain there and not be eaten into if I fancy going on holiday or splurging on a trip.

Instead, after long chats with my parents and careful consideration, I decided the best decision would be to rent out my flat and move back home. Long story short, I’ll be moving in September (hopefully) and the money I’ll save will basically bump up my earnings back to a happy place.

I’m obviously extremely grateful to have parents that are so supportive and willing to have me come back home (*cough* my mum is ecstatic). As you’re probably aware, I have a very good relationship with both my parents so hopefully it won’t be a painful experience for anyone. I’ll have my space, they’ll have theirs.

Alfie will obviously be joining me (again, my mum is ecstatic). My parents already have three dogs and he gets on fine with them (though he’ll still sleep with me as he always does when I stay over). It also gives me a bit of freedom (ironically) because I don’t have to rush home all the time to make sure Alfie isn’t alone for too long. My parents have a lovely garden and he’ll be well looked after if I decide to go on a date, a spontaneous work thing or stay out late with friends.

So, a big change for me. For how long, I don’t know…

Have you ever moved back home with your parents?

Would you ever consider something like this?

Do you get on with your parents?

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How I recovered from injury

So, touch wood and all that jazz, but it appears I’m back in the game. I’m running again!

And yes I still stand by the fact that I don’t regret running ALL THE MILES in Austria… it just confirms to me what I already know. I’m injury prone and I should gradually build up my miles and I probably shouldn’t run more than two days in a row.Inline image 1

My running was going so well…then Austria happened (follow me on Strava here)

What I do regret however is running a race a couple of days after getting back from Austria. Though I didn’t race it and it was only 4 miles, it wasn’t ideal and was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back (well, the straw that duffed my knee up). I really needed to take a good solid week off, maybe even two, before attempting to jump back into things. But there we go. These things happen. I annoyed my knee to the point that running after that was a big no-no.

The area of the knee affected was the inside bit, nearest the other knee if that makes sense. It wasn’t swollen but it was just very uncomfortable when I tried to run, or stretch it. I’m almost 100% certain it was just a simple over-use injury caused by the mileage and downhill running.

I’m actually quite proud of myself for not overly panicking about the situation. I saw Kyle, my local friendly sports massage therapist, a few times and had some acupuncture.I stopped running and avoided anything in the gym that caused me discomfort or pain. This was mainly any sort of jumping or lunging. Thankfully I could still use the elliptical machine to maintain a level of fitness (still meant to be marathon training… 10th September, New Forest). I also focused my leg days on my quads – nothing too heavy, but I did find this made a good improvement. It might have been increasing the blood flow to that area to help the healing process and also strengthen an area that needed a bit of “building back up” – but this is literally me guessing and just the fact that I took time at the same time (causality confusion and all that). I’d love to pass on some quick wins and magic pill that solved my knee pain but, as with the majority of injuries, it is really about rest. And, surprise surprise, it worked.Inline image 2My first run back was a frustrating two mile run. Towards the end my knee started to niggle but after I’d stopped it wasn’t any worse than before. So I took things gradually by having enough non-running days between this run and my next. Three miles this time, and far better.Inline image 3As I said before, my plan is for a gradual inverse taper to the marathon. Ideally I’d love to hit 16 miles (possibly 17 or 18) the week before but I’ll play it by ear and how my knee is responding. I’ll be running this marathon slower than previous ones as I’ll be running with my friend Mike and he’s aiming for a sub 4. But a marathon is still 26.2 miles of pounding and endurance so I can’t go into it feeling blasé or that it’ll be easy. No marathon is easy!

But finger’s crossed I’m back in the game. Being surrounded by runners at work is amazing, of course, but it also generates an almost unbearable feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out). I can’t wait until I can do some runching eventually…

Have you ever done an inverse taper for a marathon?

How do you cope with being injured?

Have you ever regretted a run/race?

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Rants and Raves #38

What’s been bugging me and making me smile lately? Let’s find out… (did that read as cheesy as it sounded when I read it out-loud? Yeah).

Rave: Time. I have so much more time in my life at the moment. When I worked in Basingstoke it would take at absolute best 40 minutes to get home. But that was from sitting in the car in the carpark to parking my car in the garage. From my new office in Portsmouth (incidentally the same location as the Lakeside parkrun and also the D Day 10k I did back in June), from being in my office to standing in my flat it takes 25 minutes. It literally takes 15-20 minutes to drive there. THIS IS INCREDIBLE. For over five and a half years I have driven up and down the M27 and M3 and more times than not it will take me over and hour to get home. OK yes it is currently school holidays so the roads are quieter, but even still if it takes less than hour from door to door I will be over the moon. Alfie doesn’t know what’s going on. He’s dead asleep when I get in.

And, similar to my last job, the working hours are fairly relaxed. Obviously you make sure you do your core hours and necessary tasks over the week but you can come in earlier or later and then correspondingly leave earlier or later. It’s fantastic. I think offices like this are far more realistic to how people want to work (obviously I know not all workplaces can or should do this but for a lot of office-based work it makes a lot of sense). It gives a good level of morale.

Rave: And while we’re on the subject of my new job… I love it. I mean it’s early days of course, but it is so interesting and everyone is so friendly and nice. The majority of people who work at Wiggle have some level of interest in cycling or running. You hear people chatting about their latest rides and runs all over the place. And there are bikes and trainers everywhere as the brand and design teams check them out. I mean, it is SUPER cool. And not to mention the bikes hanging from the walls, one of the Brownlee brother’s GB tri-suit framed, bikes wheels as clock faces, pictures all over the place. I’m very happy. And my job itself is something I have a genuine interest in and can’t wait to get more stuck into a progress further. I won’t be posting a huge deal about it because I want to maintain a level of professionalism but I will share where I can the little tidbits tat I get excited over 🙂

Rave: OK, OK one more rave about my new job. Every Friday they have a mini food festival on the field outside the office. EVERY FRIDAY.When I heard about this I had to swallow down a squeal (can’t let all the craziness out on the first week, of course). Sadly I’d already brought lunch with me but decided to venture downstairs and see what was on offer for future Friday lunches.Well, they had Caribbean food, Mexican food, pizzas, some American-style BBQ… and cakes. Oh the cakes.I stood there for too long and caved under the might cake pressure. I had to get myself a rocky road slab. And I say slab because it was HUMUNGOUS.Rant: I had a car accident on my second day driving into work. It was my fault and it was very stupid. Luckily no one was injured. I was in a queue for some traffic lights and we’d stopped. I then saw the lights go green ahead and I went forward…straight into the still stationary car in front of me. Completely my fault for not checking the car RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Luckily the man I drove into was very nice and didn’t yell at me. He calmly asked for my details and told me (after I’d apologised about a zillion times) that in the great scheme of things, it wasn’t that big an accident. No one had died or been badly hurt. So my little Fiat 500 is at the garage getting fixed and I have a little Citroen C1 and a £250 excess to cover. I’m trying not to think about how much my insurance will be when I renew it at the end of the year…*Sighs* you live and learn. Life was clearly going far too well for me currently!

Rant: Turning up to my gym (luckily a bit later than my usual 5.30am, I think it was about 6am) to find that the fire alarm was going off and everyone was stuck outside waiting to go back in.
Thankfully it was an error and luckily it was quite mild…in the middle of winter I would not have been amused. It was fairly cool to see a fire engine show up and a load of firemen ‘save the day’. Made for an interesting morning anyway!
Rave: Being interviewed for the runABC magazine. It was a while ago I was sent the email so I’d kind of forgotten about it until someone Tweeted me letting me know. Ahh, fame! 😉
 My mum was so proud!
Rave: And a final rave…I was sent a crafty little hand-held device, called Zap-It!, which helps stop you itching when you get attacked by mosquitoes and bugs. Basically it generates a low, electrical impulse when clicked against the bite and what this does is reduce the histamine flow and stimulate capillaries, which flushes out the toxins (that make you want to itch).The shock is really very small so not painful at all. Not like that HORRENDOUS Tough Mudder electric shock obstacle, dear God. It can also be used up to 1,000 times (the poor soul who gets 1,000 bites…). A great addition to your essential gear for BBQ’s, festivals and of course any trail races! You can buy it in lots of chemists and supermarkets or online.
What are you ranting and raving about this week?
 
Have you ever had a car accident?
 
What’s most important to you about the environment you work in?