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Decisions, decisions

The Chicago Marathon is now merely six weeks away.

Obviously I’m panicking, do I need to say this? And the question of whether or not to run it still hangs above me. I mean, to be honest I could absolutely leave it until the morning of the race to decide if I’m going to do it or not. Kyle and I will be going to Chicago whatever my running outcome is. The flights and accommodation are all booked. There was never a consideration that we wouldn’t be going so whatever happens we’ll have a nice holiday. That isn’t up for debate.

What is up for debate is me being on the start line. I mean you could argue I should just go and try it anyway. I get no money back by not doing it. Our accommodation is literally a 10 minute walk from my corral. Effort levels of getting there are minimal.

Instead the risk is that by attempting it I will be making my hamstring injury worse because, let’s face it, us runners are stubborn beasts and once we set our mind to a race we will do our very best to run, walk, crawl to the end. And while yes that’s great in terms of making the most of a shitty situation, I could making the situation afterwards, well, more shitty.

The idea of starting and then going “ah you know what, it doesn’t feel that great, I’ll stop” requires a very strong mind. To limp through a race in my opinion is the weaker stance… By recognising that it’s best to stop requires far more strength. And with the adrenaline and thousands of other runners and supporters surrounding me, I don’t think I would be able to. I would push on through.

So I must decide before that day. And ideally, before I get to Chicago so’s not to get swept away with it all if the decision is the worser outcome. But I still have six weeks. So where am I at?

Well, it’s not a great place I have to admit. While my hamstring has definitely improved, it isn’t healed. The everyday niggle and ache isn’t always there. I have days when I barely feel it and running itself is a lot better. I’m not feeling restricted or like it’s such a nag I need to stop. But the feeling of discomfort is still in the background. No run has felt 100% perfect.

Perhaps I’m expecting too much? Perhaps it’s very gradually diminishing but because I’m inside my body every day I can’t tell. Or what if I’m just getting used to the constant discomfort and settling for “it’s not too bad”? I wish I could put myself in my body a few months or weeks ago and compare. Is it better? Or am I fooling myself?

The Wiggle crew I ran the 10 miles with

I ran 10 miles last week (and 20 miles overall). The 10 miles was uncomfortable and the hamstring did nag me, but it didn’t seem to get worse and I could complete 10 miles at a relatively normal pace (for me). Though that evening it ached and the next day it felt worse than before the run. But the next day I was absolutely fine and could barely feel any issues – despite having a two hour car journey to and from Bristol (which would previously feel like hell being sat down for so long).

So then the question is, do I do Chicago if running still feels uncomfortable? If it doesn’t do any long-term damage (this is a question I need answered) and is just an annoying nag the entire time, do I still do the marathon?

Am I being a perfectionist to want my last Marathon Major to be a fun and enjoyable experience – like my other Majors? Can I accept 4-5 hours of discomfort to just get it done? Do I throw away my chance to finish the last Major this year because I want the memories to be amazing? Or do I throw the towel in and have to fly out and do it all again next year (a Friday to Sunday night style affair on my own) because I want the experience to be what I’ve dreamed it would be (or at least, any issues I have aren‘t hamstring-related).

Sadly this injury is not the type of injury (hamstring tendinopathy) that just goes away with rest. Thirteen weeks of not running definitely showed that. Everything I’ve read online and the physios I’ve seen and spoken with have advised that rest is not best. I mean, that’s not to say that running through it is a good idea either. It means rehab and strengthening. And there are set-backs and aggravations and you can be setback weeks (I’ve experienced that a few times!).

I try not to read the forums anymore (you really shouldn’t) but so many people have said they had this injury for months, sometimes years. And even then they weren’t properly over it. It’s a depressing place in those forums and I know not to read too much into it or apply it to me… But when you’re standing on the edge of a big decision, it’s hard not to be dragged down there.

But until things really regress, I just have to keep going. I actually have no idea what to do otherwise. Even without thinking about Chicago, I want to run normally going forward. When it’s been so long you can’t seem to see an end. Will I be running normally next year? At this rate, I don’t know. Yes I’m being melodramatic, pessimistic and pathetic, but it’s hard not to let the panic consume you. When something you so love to do is taken away from you – or tarred in some way – your outlook can be a bit bleak.

Sorry for being so down. I just needed to vent.

What would you do?

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How To Build That ‘I Can Do It’ Attitude

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Happy weekend everyone! I have a new collaborative post for you about motivation and your running mojo and how to keep on trucking…

Have you ever been running only to feel as though things are coming to a head? You’re perhaps nowhere near your route, and despite not feeling completely exhausted you certainly wish you could stop running. Most of us have these feelings, and it can be extremely easy to stop running when the urge comes from that direction. Of course, this needn’t be limited to exercise, it could also mean something for your self worth, but for now, exercise is the best metaphor to use.

Back to the run. When stopping, you likely knew that you could have gone a little more, and you feel bad about it. You come back from the gym or the run outdoors just a little ashamed in yourself, knowing that if you applied a little ‘I can do it’ energy and pushed through that faux-fatigue you would have made a good time. There is always tomorrow, of course, so denigrating yourself is not a good idea.

But how can we build that ‘I can do it’ urge in the first place, so it becomes much more reliable? Well, it really depends on how you talk to yourself. Let us apply some advice to this issue below. We only hope it can help:

Remember Your Reason Why

So, let us return to that prior example. You’re running in the park, and you’re about three quarters through your usual route. You know you can make it to the end, but it’s feeling a little rougher today for whatever reason. This is where taking a direct mental override of your urges to stop can be important.

Motivating yourself from then can help you move on and push forward. But how do you achieve this? Well, the most effective measure is to think about why you started that run in the first place. Are you hoping to reach a certain weight by the end of next month? Do you have an event coming up and a dress you really want to fit into? Are you simply doing it because for so long you told yourself you couldn’t? How about the fact that you want to prove to yourself that even when it gets tough, you can still move forward? Perhaps you’re even making the best of your life after losing a great friend, as you want to honour their memory by taking care of yourself as they asked to.

Remembering your reason why can help you overcome the issues that might otherwise tell you to stop. They are the deeper motivators within us that can cause to to achieve many wonderful things. For example, right now it might be that you are able to run two miles. You could like run six if it was a life-or-death matter for something you rarely cared about, although it might take every ounce of your wellbeing to do so. Tapping into that ‘extra’ inspiration can help you achieve your goal or even move forward a little more reliably, provided you always do this while prioritizing your health as necessary.

Have Tangible Goals

A goal to aim at can often be a saving grace when hoping to get past something difficult. We all face challenges, but often we know they are part of a journey. This is why training can be so much better than exercising, which is usually what a great personal trainer will tell you, and is another reason as to why exercise can be such a great metaphor for life.

Instead of just hoping to ‘get in shape’ while running, perhaps this year you want to attend the half-marathon in your city. That sounds like a lot of fun to you, and now, all of a sudden, you have an easier reason to get out of bed in the morning to hit the gym, and tangible results you need to aim for by a certain date. While training for said event, you will be getting fit and in shape as part of the process, which comes as a fantastic passive element of your exercising interest. We would recommend keeping this to heart, because when you have a goal to aim at, you’ll find nothing could stop you.

Well, Why Can’t You?

Sometimes, you might think ‘I can’t do it,’ as demonstrated in our intro. Well, why can’t you? Asking this question can help you rationalize your desire to stop and put it in the right framework? Are you tired? Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to stop right now. Are you injured or strained? Then stopping needn’t make you feel like you have failed in any way. When you have an honest self-dialogue, you’re going to come to accurate ideals so much more quickly.

With this advice, we hope you can get the best out of yourself on a regular basis.

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London trip and Burgess parkrun

This weekend was a lovely long one.

Kyle and I left work on Friday after lunch and walked to the train station to head to London. We had an AirBnb booked so after arriving at Waterloo Station we headed there. Not to state the obvious but it was a pretty hot one! Walking and using the tube was hardwork.

After settling into our accommodation we headed to London Bridge to go up The Shard.

Neither of us had done this before so it was exciting to go up. Though I have to say, the number of queues before you get up there is a little ridiculous: there’s a queue to get inside, then a queue to get your ticket, then a queue to have your items checked, then a queue to have a photo taken (which is mandatory and later you have to queue to view and then pay for if you actually want it), then a queue to get into the elevator before FINALLY arriving on the viewing floor. Jeeze. But once you’re up there it’s pretty spectacular. We had a lovely clear day so got a great view.

We avoided the expensive ice cream (£3 per scoop!) and cocktails at the bar (£13.50!) – definitely not in Portsmouth anymore eh. And then we headed back to the AirBnb to get ready for dinner.

We were going to the Chelsea branch of the Marco Pierre White steakhouse. We glammed up and got an Uber there (who was super friendly and even recommended us the same restaurant we had booked for brunch to the next day – great minds!).

The restaurant was super posh – definitely not something we’re used to 😉

We both had Whiskey Mac cocktails while we perused the menu. I drank mine trying to convince myself I do in fact like whiskey (I don’t, unless large amounts of the ice has melted into it). For starters we had the chicken parfait, then I had the duck leg salad and Kyle had steak, and for pudding we both had sticky toffee pudding.

It was very tasty, but quite small portions. I imagine for “normal” people this would be fine but I’m a greedy large appetited person.

We had grand ambitions of going to a pub and having a few more drinks, but reality set in and we realised buying a few snacks from a corner shop and going back to the AirBnb to watch some Good Place was actually better. We’re simple souls.

The next morning we walked to Burgess parkrun (unsurprisingly in Burgess Park). It was so hot. It was a two mile walk so we were nice and toasty when we got there.

While we were milling around I heard a man talking to two others about his parkrun Alphabet Challenge progress. He mentioned he was going to York very soon and then in a couple of week he was off somewhere in Poland for the Z,

Being the nosy person I am, I interjected and asked which parkrun in Poland. I asked because recently my Z for Zary had been removed from counting as a Z in the challenge. I only found this out fairly recently when I checked on my Bingo Challenge progress. Yep, no more Zary in the Z list. After asking around I found out it’s because the Z in Zary is actually not technically a Z in the Polish/Russian language (it has a special dot above it, meaning it means something else).

I mean, of course I was a bit frustrated when I found this out – I went all that way! But actually I really only have myself to blame for this mistake being the non-Polish speaking ignorant English girl… I don’t regret going to Zary of course as I loved going and it was a great adventure for Kyle and I. It also just means I need to go back to Poland to go to the actual real Z parkrun there (without the little dot above it), Zielona Góra. Watch this space…

But anyway, the man couldn’t remember which one he was going to but said his friends had been thorough in their organising. Well, good to luck him!

Burgess parkrun was a beautiful course which ran through the park, next to the large pond (small lake?) and back round again.

It was lovely and flat, asides from a couple of very brief inclines. And the marshals were lovely and enthuasiastic cheering us along.

My hamstring niggled a little but nothing major. I kept my pace controlled. I find it very hard though during parkrun because as you get to the end people are more enthusiastic in their cheering (“come on, sprint finish!”) and as tempting as that is, it’s not ideal when you’re trying to be sensible.

And it’s hard when people suddenly surge past you… Of course I did speed up a bit, but I tried so hard not to get too carried away in the moment. My time was 24:26.

At the end they had bananas and free gels to try (I declined both, far too hot). Then we headed quickly back to the AirBnb to get showered and head to our brunch in Covent Garden, The Big Easy.

Now BBQ food at 11am might not sound like everyone’s cup of tea but for me this was the absolute dream. It was called the Boozy Brunch and the one we selected (The Big Pig Gig) was an all you can eat BBQ food and unlimited drink. We’re not huge drinkers (and it was 11am…) so we opted for Diet Cokes (unlike the table behind us who were at least three pints throughout the meal haha).

I felt a bit bad because on our second Diet Coke I said to the waitress quite firmly (or so Kyle tells me…) not to bring straws with our fresh glasses. The waitress looked a bit affronted told me actually they were eco-friendly straws… Whoops that’s me told!

Anyway the food itself was so good. We had pulled pork, chicken legs, pork ribs, cornbread, coleslaw, BBQ beans and chips.

Once we got through our first ’round’ the waitress was there straight away asking what bits we’d like again, or just a bit of everything again? Well… just a bit of everything please!

Kyle was a big fan of the cornbread, I loved the ribs and neither of us touched the chips (why waste valuable stomach space!). But everything was delicious. On finishing most of the second round the waitress came back. We were both fairly full but being greedy I asked for a couple more ribs. You know, just because.

THEN I was stuffed. Ooooooof!

I had previously had ideas of going to Doughnut Time afterwards but noooo way would this be happening now. Also, the thought of giant sickly doughnuts really was not appealing in the heat.

We then rolled walked back to Waterloo and headed back home. Kyle played on his iPad while I read my newly acquired book, Ready Player One.

A trip well spent!

How was your weekend?

Do you like alcohol with a brunch?

Have you been up The Shard?

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My first long run in a while

I would like to write a running-related post that doesn’t refer to my hamstring, but unfortunately that’s not where I’m at.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. I’ve had two relatively successful runs this week. I ran 4 miles on Monday and then 8 miles after work on Wednesday. They weren’t perfect but they’re giving me hope.

The four miles I probably ran a bit too quickly I guess but it felt comfortable and I didn’t push the pace consciously. I was just enjoying being out.

The run on Thursday evening was a bit of a worry to me. I wanted to do it later in the day so my body was more warmed up. And because I stand most of the day at work now as I have a standing desk, I wanted to do it straight after work, rather than drive home and do it there.

Kyle said he’d join me which was nice and it worked out well because we had some time to kill before going to his sister’s house for dinner that evening.

The first two miles felt fine. We kept the pace nice and easy. Though I wanted to relax and chat, I found myself just concentrating so hard on what was happening with my leg that I probably wasn’t that good company to Kyle.

Unfortunately after the first few miles my left knee (same as the hamstring problem leg) started to give me a random pain. We stopped and I stretched and as we started again (my mind literally thinking this was it, it was over) it felt fine again. How random.

My hamstring/glute did start to ache a bit as the run continued though and it didn’t feel particularly comfortable. But it didn’t slow me down or make me change my gait so we pushed on. In fact, it just remained a constant ache the entire way through the run without getting worse.

What really surprised me about this run was that my endurance and fitness felt absolutely fine. Had my hamstring not been feeling uncomfortable I’m almost certain I could have gone on for a good few miles more before I’d start to struggle. This is HUGELY comforting to know. I haven’t run more than four miles for thirteen weeks. So it’s pretty crazy my body seemed fine with it. What’s helped, I’m guessing, is that we weren’t pushing the pace. It was very conversational, despite my moments of intense silent concentration. Kyle was fantastic is keeping me on a tight lease and pulling me back which definitely helped.

I have of course being doing cardio at the gym too, so I’m pleased this has carried over. Doing the stair machine frequently (and up to an hour sometimes once a week) has clearly helped. THANK GOD.

To be honest though, I would give up my fitness and endurance if I could lose the discomfort in my leg. But hey ho. I’m taking comfort from the fact that straight afterwards and today it doesn’t feel worse. Also, when I refer back to my training notes when I’ve previously had this issue I was able to run several long runs with the issue (even up to 17 miles) and it didn’t get worse. Thank god I’m so anal about these things as it helps mentally when I question what I’m doing.

Realistically, I do think it’s going to take time for this to disappear. And as long as running doesn’t hinder that by making it worse, I think I’m OK. I just need to be sensible with the build up, my pace and the recovery of each run. It’s definitely a mind boggling and stressful process but it is what it is. If it gets worse/regresses, then I’ll make some hard choices.

So I continue. A few runs every week, gently building up the miles. Fingers crossed.

How is your training going?

How do you come back after an injury?

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A Winchester run and brunch and my game plan

The weekend just gone my lovely friend, Emma, and I had planned to meet up and do the Winchester parkrun followed by brunch.

She lives in Reading and we wanted a location that would be nice and relatively half-way. After some deliberation we decided on Winchester because, though it’s not really half-way, it is a lovely place and there were a couple of different brunch spots that took our fancy.

Unfortunately as we got closer to the weekend we realised Winchester parkrun had been cancelled. Ah, that scuppered that plan! After to’ing and fro’ing we decided to still go but do our own run together instead. Winchester is a beautiful place and has a nice river area to run along.

But before I get to Saturday, first Friday night. I just have to mention the meal we had at the Merchant House. Kyle and I went out with some friends from work. Happily I like the people I work with so it was a fun time. And the food was, as before, so good.

I went for the triple chicken burger with a portion of the loaded burnt end fries.

I actually felt a little embarrassed because last time I shared them with Kyle but this time I wanted my own portion… I liked them so much and I’m greedy. But the reason I was embarrassed was because one of my colleagues turned up and the first thing he said was “oof the portions here are huge so I’m going to give the fries a miss!”. Ahh here Anna goes again being the one who eats the most… but it was damn good and I enjoyed every bite.

Moments like these do make me feel like the most greedy person in the room because generally I do eat the most. It’s just that I enjoy food. I’m not stuffing myself to a ridiculous level, I do just think I have a big appetite and can eat a lot. But it does make me sometimes feel self-conscious when I eat more than everyone else…

But back to Saturday. I met with Emma at 9am and we ran four miles together.

The weather was lovely and sunny, but not too hot, and we kept the pace conversational so we could catch up. We regularly stay in touch through messages but it’s always nice to see someone in person.

She’s doing Chicago Marathon as well so it was nice to hear about her training – though it did give me major anxieties about my lack of training. This was the longest run I’d done for over 10 weeks. But no panic, no panic. I can only do what I can. At this point I’m still not 100% certain I will do Chicago…

Anyway the four miles were relatively comfortable, though there was a low lying discomfort it was still feeling better.

We then headed to the Dispensary Kitchen for some brunch.

I decided on the vegetarian breakfast after seeing it being whisked by me to another customer (it looked delicious!) and Emma went for poached eggs on avocado and toast. We shared a fruit and yogurt platter.

The food was delicious and looked gorgeous. I felt very saintly. It had halloumi, mushrooms, poached eggs, sourdough toast, avocado and homemade baked beans. The fruit platter was incredible as well. So much food! Just how I like it 😉

It was such a lovely meet-up 🙂

When I got home I decided on another two miles because I really wanted to get six for the day. My reasoning behind this was because I wanted to increase to eight miles the next week.

This is going to be a sink or swim lead-up to Chicago now. I just have to get into training. If my hamstring says “nope” and regresses then I know that Chicago isn’t going to happen. I’ve already taken over 10 weeks off of running. I’ve rehabbed as best as I can (I still am), I’ve avoided anything that aggravates things, I’ve seen two different physios and changed my trainers.

At this point I think I just have to try consistently running and see what happens. Obviously I’m going to be sensible and not suddenly go out and do a 20 miler or five runs a week. But I’d like to do three runs a week and one of those runs gradually building up. I won’t get higher than 16-17 miles before Chicago (if all goes well in my plan) but I’m absolutely fine by that.

I just want to run issue-free. Times and paces literally don’t matter to me right now. When I had this issue a few years ago after the Boston Marathon I managed to get back into long running with some persisting symptoms but otherwise it didn’t get worse.

So I know each run isn’t going to feel perfect or the discomfort entirely disappear just yet, but I can’t be frightened to run. As long as it doesn’t make it worse. That’s my rationale right now. I so hope this works!

How was your weekend?

Have you ever run through an injury?