So Kyle and I are going on holiday tomorrow to Orlando... without Isaac. And yes I do feel like the worst mother typing that out. Now I know I don’t need to justify the decisions we make and realistically this isn’t the worst thing a parent has done ever, however the mum guilt I feel is intense.
Originally when we were initially planning this holiday, we were going to go as a big family holiday with Isaac, my parents and Kyle’s mum. But as the months ticked on last year and with the cost of living going up, the parents decided it was just too expensive for them. Considering they wouldn’t be going for the theme parks like Kyle and I were, it was an expensive family holiday for them.
I totally understood and that was absolutely fine, of course. So Kyle and I continued to plan to go just the three of us. But when we were planning and researching and seeing Isaac himself change and grow we realised that the holiday would be, well, stressful.
Maybe when Isaac was 6 months would be OK as he would be fine with being in the pram a lot and would nap on the go, but at 18 months old it would be unfair. He wants to be up and about exploring. But currently he just loves exploring fields, forests and pavements. He has no idea what Disney even is yet!
So we decided not to take him.
The levels of mum guilt are insane though. I’m a bag full of emotions right now. I’m going to miss him so much and worry about him constantly (even though he’ll be with his Nanas and will be absolutely fine), and I feel like the worst mother in the world.
Kyle says he doesn’t feel guilty at all. We deserve the break (18 months of rubbish sleep!). It’s not that he’s not going to miss him or doesn’t care as much as I do, he just has a different perspective. I admire him for that. A good number of nights I’ve spent awake considering our decision.
That said, we are going to go and enjoy ourselves. Kyle has never been before and I want him to feel as happy as I do when I’m there. We love theme parks, we love America food and we’ll get so many nights of uninterrupted sleep. It’s going to be amazing.
I know one day we’ll take Isaac with us – when he can fully enjoy and appreciate where he is and what he’s doing. But for now, he’ll have a fantastic time with his grandparents, who he loves very much. He won’t even notice we’ve gone!
And that’s not to say we won’t take him on holiday with us soon – we have one planned already. Just not one that cost a fortune that he won’t necessarily care much about.
So there we have it. Worst parents? Possibly.
Have you ever been to Disney World?
Have you ever taken young children on holiday?