Last weekend after getting back from our cycle, I took Alfie for a long walk. I didn’t bother showering before I left because it didn’t make sense and Alfie needed a walk. I got back from the walk and experienced something quite horrific.
I got ready to get in the shower. My hair was in plaits so I took them out and ran my fingers through it to untangle it. I felt something stuck in my hair and a sharp sting to my neck. I had already take my contact lenses out so couldn’t really see but when I looked in the mirror there was definitely something in there.
I panicked and shouted to Ben. I flipped my head upside down and yelled that there was something in my hair that had stung me. I was flailing about a bit and he couldn’t quite see through the voluminous mass that is my hair. His demeanour instantly changed as soon as he found what the ‘thing’ was. He started speaking in that calm, slow voice that you use with panicked animals. This freaked me out even more – the thing in my hair must be deadly, must be massive and dangerous.
He grabbed my hairbrush and started whacking at my hair in true Man Style. This scared me even more that he didn’t even want to touch the thing. I started crying and wailing like a lunatic, terrified this giant flesh eating spider was about to crawl up my hair onto my scalp.
Eventually he got it off me. The verdict: it was a wasp. I flopped onto the bed in a heap of emotional drainage.
I was drying my hands on our tea towel which was hanging from a hook and suddenly out dropped what I thought was a dead spider. It was all scrunched up and not moving. Then it jumped up after lulling us into a sense of false security. I balked and ran up the stairs, Alfie got the hell out of the kitchen and Ben was left to deal with the fiend. but I’m a bit of a weird one in that I hate killing thing so I made him take it down the road and throw it in a bush – far away from our house. I don’t want that thing making it’s way back to us!
Whew. Jeeeze. Nature is a bitch.
In other news. Alfie has been keeping a keen eye on my foam rolling lately. I’ve been using a tennis ball on my calves to help loosen them up. Sadly for him I’m using his ball. He used to get exciting but now he realises that ‘catch’ is no longer what’s about to happen.
And on a random note, I found one of these at a petrol station.
What are you scared of?
How do you get rid of spiders?
What’s your favourite coconut product?