Thoughts - AnnaTheApple

June 12, 2014

Comparisons

Like a lot of people, I compare myself against others. Are they a better runner than me? Are they faster than me? Stronger than me?

It’s almost automatic. Judgement. One quick look up and down. A flick of the eyes down a list of race results. A furtive glance in the gym. I’m sure we’ve all done it. Perhaps a sweeping generalisation, but I suspect women do it more than men. Is she skinnier than me? Is she prettier than me? But I’m certain men do it too. Are his arms bigger? Does he earn more than me?

I do try my hardest to run my own race. I try not to compare myself to other people. Who knows who’s having a good day or bad day? What training they’ve had. How healthy they are. I think it’s near impossible to stop completely. However, I am a lot better than I was. My achievements and the success I feel are not defined by how anyone else has performed.

The comparisons I’m talking about in this post are comparisons with yourself. How well am I doing compared with how I’ve previously done.

Oh sure that sounds healthy and much better, right? There will always be people faster than you, richer than you, prettier than you, smarter than you, slimmer than you…So it makes sense to compare like with like. Yourself with yourself.

I ran that 5 mile race on Sunday and despite achieving third female and working damn hard in that final stretch to overtake those girls, I was disappointed and annoyed. I couldn’t shake that feeling that I was a rubbish runner and should have done better. Anna last year ran so much faster! And surely I should be even faster now, right? A whole year’s worth of training, so many more races, more experience…what happened?

I now realise how ridiculous this all sounds. If I’d have had a good amount of consistent, injury-free training then of course I should be disappointed and should have pushed harder. But I didn’t have a stretch of injury-free training and I couldn’t push harder. Physically my body couldn’t have gone faster. I should be proud of what I achieved considering how my running had been.

Basically it takes a bit of perspective and a lot of shaking myself. You’re an idiot Anna. Get back on the horse and work hard and sensible for the next goal. Don’t dwell on coulda, woulda, shoulda.

Comparisons will never disappear. We’ll keep making them. But just remember to see the context. Did you put in a good amount of effort? Did you try your best? Maybe your best today wasn’t as good as your best last year, but it’s still your best. So accept it and move on. Learn from it if you can and see the positives of what you’ve managed to achieve. Because I’m pretty sure someone’s looking and wishing they were as good as you.

Do you compare yourself with others?

Do you compare yourself with yourself?

June 6, 2014

Running ain’t cheap

Being ill really sucks. I couldn’t believe that I woke up Monday morning, after getting back from North Wales the afternoon before, feeling incredibly sick. I thought it was just something I ate but as the day progressed I just felt worse and worse. Luckily (?) I had the day off from work anyway so I just laid on the sofa in a miserable state of achiness and lethargy.

All that fresh air and I get ill! Unbelievable. Well it took until Tuesday evening before I felt human again. Ben woke up feeling rough on Tuesday as well so we had a day off work together, both pathetically lying on the sofa. At least we’d recently signed up to Netflix so we just watched a lot of Breaking Bad (sooooo good).

I went to work on Wednesday feeling much better. We had another RR10 race that evening and had planned on going but I got stuck in ridiculous traffic (how many times have I moaned about my commute??). I think this was actually probably for the best as I’m still gently getting back into running and decided to do a solo run on my own instead when I got home.

As soon as I got moving I knew I felt terrible. My legs felt like they had weights on the bottom of them. Everything just felt so hard. I guess I wasn’t fully healed from my illness. Ho hum. I just hope I start feeling a bit better for Sunday as we have a 5 mile race (the Beer and Cake race – we did it last year and loved it. Here’s my recap). I know I need to adjust my expectations for it though as I am no where near the shape I was in last year.

Interestingly Ben had a very similar run to me on Wednesday evening. He decided to go for the RR10 (he got home in time – the joys of only working 20 minutes away). He said he felt very lethargic and it was a rubbish run. Guess we both need to take more time before jumping back into running post illness!

Before the illness swooped down and knocked me over, on Monday morning Ben and me headed out to buy some trails shoes for the RR10 on Wednesday (thinking I was going). We got buy one get one free on trainers so Ben got another pair of road trainers and I got some racing flats.

This means recently we’ve bought new road trainers, new trail shoes, racing flats and walking boots for us. Four pairs of new shoes each!! I cringe at the cost of all this…Don’t tell me running is a cheap sport!

In a month these are the things Ben and me regularly buy or spend because of running:

New running gear – whether that’s trainers, socks, tops, shorts, runderwear, etc.)
Race entries – this year we’ve entered a total of 14 races each and this is likely to increase as the year progresses. Some are local and cheap (£9 what a bargain!) to Jesus are you serious (hello, Great South Run – over £40!)
Physio and massages – thanks to seeing Kyle and him being so damn convenient it’s very easy to have a massage every week to keep our legs fresh and cheerful. But then the bad times mean serious physio visits to fix injuries, which are more expensive (£40 a pop).
Gels and hydration – we’re big fans of High5 gels and water tablets and when we get into marathon training we’ll be getting through them again (though I plan on avoiding too many gels this time around, more on that another time).
Food – more running = more food needed. I am like a food (cake?) machine when it comes to running longer distances and higher mileage weeks. And Ben (and maybe me…) just rinses out our chocolate fridge shelf (everyone has a chocolate shelf right?).
Plasters – for every run Ben uses two blister plasters for his nipples (he’s going to kill me for putting this on the blog). Don’t get me wrong, they’re not expensive but do you know how many boxes of blister plasters we get through?? They have to be specifically blister plasters as well – normal ones won’t do apparently!
Cross training – road bikes, gym memberships, swimming sessions, etc.
Misc – cost of parking for races, petrol to get to races (flights & hotels even), cups of tea after Parkrun in the coffee shop, Vaseline/chafing stuff, the amount of extra washing we do with running gear, going for a meal after a big race…

Yeah it isn’t cheap. Oh sure we could knock a load of stuff off that list but at the moment it’s OK. We don’t have children, don’t plan to have children for a fair while, and we both have decent jobs. I suppose you could say we work to run!

But it’s our passion. We don’t go out boozing every weekend and we don’t spend lots of money eating out regularly. We’re fairly boring in that we like to run, so we run a lot. And that’s just the way of life for us right now.

What passion do you have that isn’t free?

Do you spend a lot of money on workout gear?

Do you workout when you’re ill?

May 14, 2014May 10, 2016

A long way to go

This year has been very strange in terms of running. I started the year feeling absolutely pants, recovering from a stubborn injury. I got back into running fairly slowly when my knee started to hold up and began gaining back speed and things were going well.

Then after the Reading half (not many weeks before the marathon) I was struck down with another injury (sprained ligament in my ankle). Luckily because it was such an acute injury it went away as quickly as it appeared (just over two weeks). But it knocked my training and made me readjust my expectations for the marathon.

The marathon happened and I did so much better than I could have dreamed. No issues, a GFA and a great experience. Off the back of that though it has been quite a tedious time with running. I love it still, don’t get me wrong. But gaining back speed has been a tough old slog. I’m nowhere near where I was this time last year in terms of my parkrun times and I don’t feel as confident a runner as I used to be.

I’ve been going to regular club training sessions, parkruns and the odd race but things don’t seem to be there as easily as before. I know it’s just time, but I’m so impatient. Though I’m over the moon for my running friends and husband getting PBs, it’s frustrating for me that my PBs were achieved last year when I was in peak condition so my chance of beating them soon are slim.

This was evident when I really tried to go for it at parkrun on Saturday. I had my game-face on, the course was the flat five laps around the cricket pitch, and I was feeling ready.

I got 21:32 (2nd female) which is over a minute away from my PB. I really pushed it and felt shattered afterwards.

I know I can get the speed back if I consistently train and do the right sessions, I’m just having a moan. I know I am very lucky to be able to run and enjoy it – don’t get me wrong. Since my numerous injuries, I am very grateful for every run and I know injuries are so easy to get. My runs could be numbered at any point. I just feel a bit useless at the moment with my running.

I also had the worst run of my entire life. I’m taking part in our running club’s league races (Hampshire RR10s) and we had one last Wednesday night. The races are typically 4-5miles long, off-road and undulating. This one was in the New Forest.

Ben and me met up with the rest of the club and warmed up.

Ah those happy faces, unaware of what was to come

I started ridiculously fast. Like stupid fast. It was downhill and I was just like “la, la, la, I’m so speedy”. Then hit the wall and the wheels came off spectacularly on mile two. It was painful, horrible and I thought at one point just to stop.

Thankfully, I didn’t. I zipped up my woman-suit (girl version of man-suit) and just persevered. There was so much thick mud to get through it was a nightmare. Then a lovely long hill for 3/4 mile at the end. Joy.

My lovely new Run Mummy Run compression socks fully Christened with mud on their first outing

I’ve never been so glad for a race to be over. I’m not joking when I say I’d rather do the marathon again than that race. Too fast, stupid pacing, too much mud. A silver lining at least was that I got 11th female and first female in my club.

Because I knew that I worked very hard at the RR10 and I was also aiming for a good time on Saturday’s parkrun, when Ben and me signed up to the Alton 10 miler race on Sunday I knew straight away I didn’t want to race it. But Ben was keen to go for a PB (honestly, that boy is on fire. He got a PB at parkrun! I’ll be watching my back soon – he was nine seconds behind me). Ben’s 10 mile PB was 1:26:xx but that was last October and he’s made some great improvements since then so it was clear he would PB (providing all went well). It just depended on by how much of a PB it would be. He wanted 1:18. So I said I’d pace him as that was still quite a comfortable speed for me. Not an easy run, but not a racing speed (my PB is 1:15, of which I’m not happy with but let’s not go there).

The run was well organised and the course was very scenic – think traditional little British villages and farms. But undulating and windy on the day.

We ran fairly steady. I struggled a little bit due to a slightly niggling hip (let’s not talk about it) but other than that it went fine. Ben ran well and achieved his goal with time to spare – an 8 minute 1 second PB.

He was over the moon, as you can imagine. Two PBs in one weekend. Nice work, hubby!

Running is never easy. You really have to put a lot of hard, consistent work in to get good stuff out. I know I’ll get there again, it just takes time.

Have you ever felt frustrated with your ability?

Is your other half into sports or fitness? Do you compete against each other? I never want to race against Ben. I’m sure he’ll get faster than me at some point but I don’t mind. I’m happy that he’s doing so well. I never want to compare his performance against mine. It would be silly anyway considering he’s male and I’m female!

Have you ever been paced or have ever paced someone else in a race?

April 22, 2014

Recent Runnings – bank it while you can

Happy belated Easter. Hope everyone had a nice weekend and extended time off (if you were so lucky to have the Friday and Monday off). I also hope lots of chocolate was enjoyed. Because let’s be honest that’s what it’s really all about (joke!).

The past week I’ve had a good amount of running. In fact, I’ve hit both running club sessions, Parkrun and a longish run with the guys from the club on Sunday. I’ve never managed that all before – usually I have to run on my own at least once.

Tuesday night was a hard incline intervals session. I felt strong running and though I hated it I did enjoy it – if that makes sense? It was tough but a good kind of tough. In the end I ran 7.8 miles. I definitely felt it the next day though!

Wednesday was no running but I did 45 minute’s in the gym working on my calves, hamstrings, glutes and core. Boring but necessary.

Thursday night was a longer than expected run with running club. I wasn’t looking for a speedy run at all as my legs felt so heavy from Tuesday. I’m really just not used to intervals anymore. So I was just wanted some good miles with good company. Well I did get some good company. But I just found it very hard.

I ran down to the meeting spot (which is just over a mile), then joined with a group who weren’t intending on blasting it. The only thing is it was off-road and there were several hills. In fact, our leader was actively looking for hills. I really struggled and felt really tired afterwards. I didn’t feel my usual amazing buzz. So I saw this as a ‘warning run’. A ‘don’t be stupid and try and jump too quickly back into things’ run. I’ve just done a marathon (and off the back of returning from injury and not having a great training lead-up). I cannot let the marathon and my results make me think I’m invincible. One run does not change you (I think those were Hollie’s wise words).

Hollie has been giving some great advice recently. For example, running and racing are like gambling. Quit while you’re ahead. That doesn’t mean quit running, but don’t think if you get a really good time or PB that suddenly you can keep racing every weekend and smash out good times all the time. Bank that result, take some recovery time, and then race again when you’re fresh and ready. Sound advice which I’m trying to follow.

After a rest day Friday, it was Parkrun on Saturday. I went for an easier pace to compensate for the tough Thursday. In fact, I loved it! Ben and me ran with some running club friends and helped out one of them to get a PB for the course.

It was great fun cheering and encouraging him round and seeing how chuffed he was at the end. We kept to around 8 min/mile pace which was perfect for me.

Sunday I was still feeling tired from the running so I was looking forward to a nice easy-paced longish run with some guys (and Ben) from the club. It’s really nice now that Ben’s properly into running and improving all the time that we can run together more now. Before when he first started it just wasn’t possible. Gotta watch my back soon I think 😉

We just managed to miss the rain thankfully! But it was very cold starting out.

It was quite funny because we actually got lost from half of the group and then had to make a quick and precarious dash across a gold course to get back. Scary times! Not sure the golfers appreciated us there…

This week is all about the RR10 (Hampshire Road Racing league) on Wednesday night. I plan on running an easy run on my own tonight and then (depending how I feel) pushing it on Wednesday so see where my paces are at. It’s all about position rather than time which I find annoying. I much prefer to compare myself to myself with my time than compare myself to others in terms of placing. Hey ho, all good speed work and lots of the club will be there.

And cake. There’s always cake 😀

How have your workouts been lately?

Do you quite while you’re ahead when you’re running really well? I’m just terrified that I’ll get injured. You always hear people getting injured when they’re doing so well in their running…I have no major races coming up so I have no reason to push everything hard.

Do you take part in any club leagues?

April 10, 2014

Life after marathon

I’m still walking (hobbling) around in a happy bubble of amazingness. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully shattered and my legs didn’t feel anywhere near normal until Wednesday. And I will stop going on about the marathon I promise but I wanted to do a little ‘wrap up’ post.

I am fully aware that my marathon experience (especially my first ever marathon) was quite rare in that nothing seemed to go wrong – especially considering my training (or lack thereof). It was like a dream. Of course it was tough. Mentally more than physically I’d say. The sheer effort of keeping focused and not allowing myself to acknowledge the aches, the tiredness, and the overwhelming temptation to stop. I remember looking at my watch and thinking “oh my God, I’ve been running for three hours!” But at the same time, it was such a buzz.

The only thing I think I’d have done differently would have been to not have had three gels.

Maybe it was the temperature being so warm, but they really messed with my tummy. I know this is completely my own fault having not tested out using more than one gel in a long run before and it was a risk. Thankfully I just felt a bit sick and that was all.

Next time I think I’ll use one gel (probably between 8-10 miles) and then either have nothing or have some small easy-to-eat sweets, like jelly babies or even sugar cubes. After listening to the very insightful interview on Marathon Talk with Barry Murray (a sports-focused nationalist who is against the whole carb-loading premise) I wonder if I actually needed the gels. I do all my morning runs and long runs with no nutritional help or breakfast and have no ill effects. It’s something for me to consider in the future I think.

On another note, as good as running a race in a whole different country was there were some draw backs to it too. You have a whole different routine in a hotel room in terms of getting ready, ‘toilet time’, breakfast, getting to the race…it’s very surreal.

And post-race both Ben and me would have loved to have just been at home with our creature comforts and ‘normal’ food. But the experience of running such an iconic race was pretty amazing regardless.

I’m also somewhat jealous of the Brighton and Manchester marathon race reports with just how much support there was from the crowds. Paris was a bit lack lustre. They did cheer, but it seemed selectively so. And don’t get me started on people randomly walking out into the course to cross the road!!

OK, enough moaning. It makes it sound like I didn’t enjoy it. The truth of the matter is that I can’t smiling. It was brilliant. Epic. Amazing. Life changing. I’ve fallen in love with running again and so much harder.

So what’s next? Well, some easy weeks worth of running for definite! No care for pace, time, mileage. Just easy running and long walks. I have a few local races in the pipeline: a marathon relay where I’ll be doing a 7.8 mile leg, a few 10ks and Endure 24 in June as part of a team with my running friends (24 hours of running 5 mile laps).

And then at the end of September the Berlin marathon. I’m hoping to have a very sensible lead up, having had a good summer of base building and increasing my speed (finger’s crossed). Then head down and focused training. Nothing crazy but a sensible training plan I can actually follow this time. I have my fingers so tightly crossed that I won’t get injured again any time soon. I will continue with my strength training twice a week to work on this.

My aim for Berlin? No idea yet. But all I do know is that I want to enjoy it as much as I did Paris. If that means a similar finishing time, then that’s fine by me! I don’t want to experience 3-4 hours of hellish running.

I can quite confidently say that I am much more a fan of the longer distances than shorter. Half marathons and marathons is where I’m firmly at right now.

What are your future races?

Did you run a marathon recently? What did you learn?

What’s important to you in an event – scenery? Support? Aid stations?