Let’s talk about dating

Or lack thereof I should say. At the start of this year I got back “in the game” as it were. I felt ready to get out there and start meeting people and dating again. Over a few months I was going on dates and just enjoying myself.

I wasn’t actively looking or, er, “hunting”. Things just either organically or naturally happened, which was nice and easy. That has since dried up somewhat and there’s a dearth of prospective males on the horizon.

At university it was so easy. You’re in a big fish bowl of people mostly the same age as you, usually single and available. With no actual jobs (I mean proper career jobs) and no real commitments it was so easy to meet people. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t date a huge amount (see my post about being an introvert…) but it was easy to meet people. The potential was definitely there.

Now I’m in a full-time career and time is tricky. You get up, you go to work, you come home, you sleep. With an hour commute both ways and a dog to look after it’s hard to do anything in the week (and getting up at 5am to go to the gym means granny bedtimes – yes I know this is my own doing).

But it’s not like I have a a crowd of men banging down my door anyway. I’m not turning down dates because I have no time. If only that was the case! Most of the people I work with are happily married older men. And most of my friends are all coupled off and don’t seem to know other singles. It seems we’re a sad and dying breed.

So what do you do? This isn’t a rhetorical question. I don’t actually have the answer. I am genuinely asking for guidance here. I’m 28 which, let’s be honest, is no spring chicken (though also not ancient). I look in the mirror every morning and go “this is the best it’s ever going to be” because tomorrow I’m one day older. OK this is bleak. I don’t think I’m completely abhorrent to the opposite sex (at least I truly hope not) but tick tock and all that.

My friends, from their fabulous happy marital cloud, say “go on Tinder!” and then proceed to “want a go” and “let me play” like it’s a game. But you hear horrific stories about Tinder… I don’t want to just hook up with randomers. I’m not that girl. And the thought of meeting up with someone who thinks I am that girl is terrifying! Or meeting up with someone and having one of those horror story dates.

Being part of a running club you’d think would be ideal, but really no. It’s full of lovely people, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not exactly a hive of prospective singletons. I started bouldering and climbing to widen my social bubble and I suppose that might help if I was going more regularly…

It is so easy to just carry on with my life and do nothing. I’m comfortable in my own company and can get very routine-based. My mum keeps telling me “It’ll just happen! You’ll meet him in the supermarket or in the street”. What? Actually, what? No I won’t. In Tesco my attention is fully on food. And bless my dad and his practical nature, comments like “When is the time to get your eggs frozen?” really don’t help.

*Sighs*. Honestly, if you’re not single, BE GRATEFUL. I used to joke when I was married that I’d hate to be “out there in this day and age”. Not so funny now is it! I don’t mean to be all moany or sound like a desperate sap. I am OK on my own. I’m not quite Carrie Bradshaw desperation level yet. My problem though is that time will just fly on by and I will continue living in my happy bubble of my little life and routine and be everyone’s single friend Anna, the one that likes running and eating too much.

If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

Do you have any horror story dates?

Do you have any dating advice?